Guys vs Girls

Hey, this is not fair. How come my research came back with 249 reasons its great to be a girl and only 100 reasons its great to be a guy? Maybe my laptop is a girl. Whatever the reason, it doesn't matter. Read CAREFULLY and you will see what I mean. Of course, ladies first:

TOP 249 REASONS ITS GREAT TO BE A GIRL.

1. free dinners
2. free lunches
3. free brunches
4. free movies (you get the point)
5. you can hug your friend without wondering if she thinks you're gay
6. you can cry without pretending there's something in your contact
7. you know the truth about whether size matters
8. speeding ticket? What's that? (??????)
9. you can hug your friend without wondering if YOU'RE gay
10. you actually get extra points for sitting on your butt watching sports
11. you don't have to try to laugh louder, deeper and harder than your
buddies
12. if you never have a son, it's okay
13. if you do have a son, and he's a lousy athlete, it's still okay
14. if YOU'RE a lousy athlete, you don't have to question your worth as a
human being
15. a new lipstick gives you a whole new lease on life
16. in high school, you never had to walk down the hall with your binder
strategically positioned
17. if you have sex with someone and don't call them the next day, it
doesn't mean you're the devil
18. you don't have to count how many people you've slept with
19. condoms make no significant difference in your enjoyment of sex
20. if you have to be home in time for 90210, you can say so, out loud
21. if you're not making enough money, you can blame the glass ceiling
22. you can sleep your way to the top
23. you can sue for sexual harassment
24. you can sue the President for sexual harassment
25. if you're not very attractive, you can fool 'em with makeup
26. if you use self-tanner, it doesn't necessarily mean you're a big loser
27. same with tanning beds
28. nothing crucial can be cut off with one clean sweep
29. you could possibly live your whole life without ever taking a group
shower
30. you can get free stuff just by smiling sweetly
31. if you're pregnant, YOU get to decide what to do about it
32. Brad Pitt
33. you don't have to fart to amuse yourself
34. if you cheat on your spouse, people assume it's because you're being
emotionally neglected
35. you never have to wonder if your orgasm was real
36. you'll never have to decide where to hide your nose-hair clipper
37. when you take off your shoes, nobody passes out
38. if the person you're dating is much better at something than you are,
you don't have to break up with them
39. if you think the person your dating really likes you, you don't have to
break up with them
40. excitement is only as far away as the nearest drug/beauty-aid store
41. if you don't shave, no one will know
42. you can congratulate your teammate without ever touching her ass
43. if you have a zit, you can conceal it
44. you don't have to reach down every so often to make sure your privates
are still there.
45. if you want to have sex, you always can
46. if you're dumb, some people will find it cute
47. you don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in
48. if you love someone, it's easy for you to tell them
49. you can dress yourself
50. your hair is yours to keep
51. if you ARE bald, people will think you did it on purpose, and you're
really chic
52. once a month, you have an excuse to be a total bitch
53. you don't need a special occasion to hug your dad
54. you never have to wonder if you'll offend someone by opening then door
for them
55. when necessary, you can live without sex
56. you can always get a ride hitchhiking
57. you don't have to pretend to like cigars
58. you don't have to pretend you liked cigars before they were cool
59. you'll never have to blow 2 months salary on anything
60. you can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture
them naked
61. if you marry someone 20 years younger, you know you look like an idiot
62. you don't think that wearing a warm coat in the dead of winter makes you
look like a wuss
63. you're rarely compelled to scream at the TV
64. if you wear cologne, you don't have to pretend it's aftershave
65. you'll probably never see someone you know while peeing in an alley
66. you never have to punch a hole through anything with your fist
67. you don't have a scar right under your chin
68. you and your friends don't have to get totally wasted in order to share
your feelings
69. if you talk to your mom every day, it's normal
70. if you pick up the check once in a while, that's plenty
71. sitting and watching people is all the entertainment you need
72. you can quickly end any fight simply by crying
73. you can decide not to work once you've had kids
74. your friend won't think you're weird when you ask if there's spinach in
your teeth
75. when you get a million catalogues in the mail, it's a good thing
76. sometimes, chocolate truly can solve all your problems
77. if you're under 6', you don't have to lie about it
78. you have never had a goatee
79. gay waiters don't make you uncomfortable
80. you'll never regret piercing your ears
81. you can fully assess someone just by looking at their shoes
82. you'll never discover you've been fooled by a Wonderbra
83. when you wear sweatpants, it isn't obscene
84. you know better than to ever use Grecian Formula
85. it doesn't take you an hour to go to the bathroom
86. you don't have hair on your back
87. your doctor never has to put on a rubber glove
88. when you get dumped, you can admit you're depressed
89. if anything on your body isn't as big as it should be, you can get
implants
90. you can tell which glass was yours by the lipstick mark
91. If you have big ears, no one has to know
92. if someone takes your seat in a bar, you don't have to hit them
93. it's okay if you can't drive a stick
94. Ally McBeal
95. you get to hate Kathie Lee in the way only another woman truly can
96. you can be attracted to someone just because they're really funny
97. you can borrow your spouse's clothes and it doesn't mean you belong on
Jerry Springer
98. you've known the joy of making a collage for your BFF
99. you bond easily
100. when you become President, you'll be the first woman ever
101. You can dance and sing all night without being laughed at.
102. You can get free stuff. Just ask and look interested.
103. You don’t smell bad.
104. Men have higher insurance yet we are the craziest!
105. We can hug our friends without being gay.
106. Communication and creation is second nature.
107. Getting a massage from another woman doesn’t seem sexual.
108. We can get free massages from men by complaining about online poker. (This was written by a man.)
109. We are powerful like love goddesses.
110. We are created equal.
111. Free beer.
112. Yummy Tea. Tea Time!
113. I just thought of a thousand more…
114. Diamonds and bling bling…fashion don’t get me started.
115. You know woman have fashion..you know!
116. Knowing nutrition makes your health.
117. Regular massage can help with menstruation.
118. You know how to cook.
119. It is inate to care.
120. Adventure comes easily.
121. We get to hang out while our men work their ass off.
122. Keep going she says. (Her lover helping her out right now.)
123. Beautiful is her middle name.
124. To be a mother.
125. Champagne wine, coolers, and flavors; girly drinks.
126. Yoga rocks!
127. Dancing can make your night.
128. I love my man.
129. My man likes to buy things for me on valentines day.
130. I’m super sexy.
131. Tight jeans are hot.
132. I live clean. Cleaning is good!
133. Painting and drawing is natural.
134. Being outdoors completes the soul.
135. Watching plants and flowers grow.
136. I don’t have to shave my face!
137. I don’t have a third leg.
138. I don’t have (anger)testosteron.
139. My feet don’t stink.
140. My man will always rescue me.
141. I’m hot no matter what.
142. We can play with our hair.
143. We get flowers on our birthday.
144. We are happy from the simple joy of a rainbow.
145. Taking a jog will release a completely bad day.
146. Getting a massage will relive a thousand pounds of stess.
147. A beautiful scenery of ocean will make you smile(haha..not really just shopping a lot)
148. ….She is trying to cover her tracks but the entry above is true. (Her man)
149. You never have to carry a weapon to be able to claw.
150. we can get laid anytime we want
151. we never have to buy our own drinks at the bar
152. we piss sitting down so its easier to pass out on the toilet when you're drunk
153. we get out of speeding tickets by crying
154. we get out of speeding tickets by showing a little cleavage or leg
155. we can sleep our way to the top of the class
156. we get to shop at Victoria's Secret
157. we can marry rich and then not have to work
158. we never have to pay when we go out on dates
159. men take us on all expense paid trips- all we have to do is sleep with them
160. men light our cigarettes for us
161. men hold the door open for us
162. we pout better (those puppy dog eyes always work!)
163. we're cuter
164. we lie better
165. we're better manipulators
166. we always end up sleeping in the bed when we fight with our other halves- you guys get the couch
167. we always have food in the fridge
168. when we cook, it doesn't precede a trip to the ER or a visit from the fire dept
169. we always get to choose the movie
170. we don't have to mow the lawn
171. we don't have to take out the garbage
172. we don't have to paint the house or walls
173. PMS- yet another excuse to bitch at men
174. cosmopolitan
175. we can con our way out of anything- not just dig ourselves deeper into a hole
176. men unlock our side of the car first- a real bonus when its cold
177. PMS is a legal defense for murder
178. men are like tiles, lay'em right the first time ya can walk all over'em forever
179. we can masturbate more in a day than men
180. 2 words- multi orgasmic
181. we don't have to constantly adjust our genitals
182. sweat is sexy on us
183. we never run out of excuses
184. you guys may get to think about sex 200 times a day, but we could be having it that often
185. doggie style- that way we get to watch the game too
186. we get expensive jewelry as gifts that we NEVER have to give back
187. we get candy, flowers and jewelry all the time cuz men screw up so often
188. we can give "the look" that will make any man want to cower in the corner
189. women are cleaner
190. women have more than one erogenous zone (in case you guys didn't know)
191. we're better arguers
192. we don't always have to think with our genitals
193. massage!!!!
194. we're better parents
195. we never have to sit home alone on a weekend night
196. there's never a shortage of ready, willing and able men
197. we're flexible
198. when women get pissed we dont destroy property or hurt people- we just take it out on the world in general because we can
199. menopause- thank god we're not capable of having children after we're 50
200. menstruation- just another excuse to use so we can say "no" to sex
201. men in uniform
202. there is no penis envy
203. we can just roll over and go to sleep after we masturbate because there's no messy clean-up
204. it generally takes us less to get drunk
205. we have a higher tolerance to pain
206. we often get to cut in line
207. most women actually look good in short shorts- men DON'T
208. better tips
209. women who don't wear underwear are considered sexy and wild, when men do it, its rather disgusting
210. we have mastered civilized eating- we don't embarass our friends or make loud bodily noises in public
211. women can go a day without showering or shaving and not look or smell disgusting- thank god for long pants and perfume!
212. we can connive men into doing our homework, writing our papers or carrying our books anytime we want
213. we don't have excessive amounts of body hair
214. we don't spend 45 minutes on the toilet
215. men will pay us for sex
216. smoking the seeds in marijuana doesn't make us sterile
217. we can throw a punch at a man and not get hit in return
218. men may fantasize about having sex with more than one woman at a time, but we can have sex with an entire football team at once if we want
219. men walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to the road so that if a car hits us, he gets hurt not us
220. women sweat less
221. women smell better
222. when women make their boyfriends mad, we don't have to waste money on flowers or cards- a blowjob and sex fixes all
223. men are more often serial killers, thieves, rapists and cheats
224. women don't get the humor in the three stooges
225. women have three accessible holes
226. we don't get embarrassed when buying tampons
227. we're better gossips
228. we have better fashion sense
229. we're better shoppers
230. we don't have to make fools out of ourselves to impress a man
231. our friends don't pick on us if we aren't sleeping with anyone
232. men don't know what our 'girl talk' is all about (and im not gonna tell you)
233. we're all sittin' on a gold mine- we know it and use it to our extreme advantage
234. we don't have to drive when on a date
235. an ugly woman can use makeup and get a new hairdo to become presentable- ugly men are just screwed
236. women can use the old "that mark on my neck is from a curling iron burn" line
237. women know how fake it
238. women look better naked
239. we know that rhythm doesn't only pertain to dancing
240. when women are short, we're petite, when men are short, they're just short
241. women do less time for violent crime
242. women don't have to worry about not being able to get it up
243. an oblong vegetable is all we need for a good time any night
244. women's conversations generally consist of more than just "uh huh, yep ok then bye"
245. women don't need an excuse to be in a bad mood
246. women never have to see combat
247. the remote control is not an extension of ourselves
248. women are sexier
249. we can get laid ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, ANY WAY we want it!

now
TOP 100 REASONS ITS GREAT TO BE A GUY

1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.
3. You know stuff about tanks.
4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
5. Monday Nite Football.
6. You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives.
7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
8. You can open all your own jars.
9. Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight.
10. Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.
11. When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying.
12. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
13. All your orgasms are real.
14. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.
15. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.
16. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
17. You understand why Stripes is funny.
18. You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
19. Your last name stays put.
20. You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
21. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.
22. You can kill your own food.
23. The garage is all yours.
24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
25. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.
26. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
27. You never have to clean the toilet.
28. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
30. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
32. Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.
33. The National College Cheerleading Championship
34. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
35. You don't have to shave below your neck.
36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every nite.
37. If your 34 and single nobody notices.
38. You can write your name in the snow.
39. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.
40. Everything on your face stays its original color.
41. Chocolate is just another snack.
42. You can be president.
43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
44. Flowers fix everything.
45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.
47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
48. Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
50. You can say anything and not worry about what people think.
51. Foreplay is optional.
52. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.
53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.
54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
55. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by.
56. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
57. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
58. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
59. You can watch a game in silence with you buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."
60. The world is your urinal.
61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you.
62. You get to jump up and slap stuff.
63. Hot wax never comes near you pubic area.
64. One mood, all the time.
65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
66. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too skeevy.
67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.
69. Same work....more pay.
70. Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
71. You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
72. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
73. You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back.
74. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory.
75. You don't mooch off others' desserts.
76. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
77. The remote is yours and yours alone.
78. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
79. ESPN SportsCenter.
80. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
81. Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers.
82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
84. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.
85. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your friends you've changed.
86. Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
87. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "F*#k it!"
88. If an other guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.
89. Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary.
90. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood.
92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.
93. If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.
94. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
95. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.
96. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.
97. Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
98. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So... notice anything different?"
99. Baywatch
100. There is always a game on somewhere.

These were taken from here, here and here for girls and here for guys.

Hmmm, doesn't seem that bad now huh. Hehehe, feel free to let me know if you think they are all truths or just half truths or simply if you want to disagree do comment about it.

The choice is yours.